Saturday, May 6, 2023

As a Mom

As a mom, I was rather strict. We did let our kids live life, but we also had rules that we expected to be followed. Even so, I'd be questioned as to why they weren't allowed to do something or get the occasional, "But so-and-so's mom lets them." My favorite comeback for this was, "Maybe so-and-so's mom doesn't love them as much as I love you." That one usually shut them up. How could they argue with love?

As a mom, I've been hated. Neither of my kids ever said it to me, but I'm sure they thought it. And when that happened, especially as they got older, it hurt. The way I see it, though, if you're not hated (or at least strongly disliked) at some point, you're not doing it right. If we try to make our kids happy 100% of the time, we're failing them and ourselves.

As a mom, we learn as we go. Yes, there are numerous books telling you how someone thinks you should parent, but let's get real, here. Every child, family, and environment is different and there's no one right way to do it, only your way. If you truly love your kids and only want the best for them, you're doing it right. Even when it may not feel like it, if it's from a place of love, it is. Will your choices and decisions always turn out the way you expected? No. Even so, if no one was hurt in the process, then high-fives to you! And if someone was, learn from it. The only true mistakes we make are the ones we make twice. The rest are simply mess-ups that we make sure not to repeat.

As a mom, you will mess up. You will. But ya know what? That's okay! Your kids don't want or need perfect, they need you. They need you and all of your imperfections. How else would they be able to learn how to handle life and all the things it throws at them? Not only do we learn from our mess-ups, but so do they. Looking back, my many imperfections taught my children patience, love, understanding, forgiveness, tenacity, strength, and empathy. I was the best mom I knew how to be and, surprisingly, that was enough.
And finally, some things I wish I had done more often...

As a mom, love yourself so it overflows into them. Rest so you have the energy to give them your all because that's what you're going to do, anyway, so you might as well have some saved up. Destress and detox your mind every single day so it doesn't accidentally explode out of you in a negative way. And reassure yourself that you're an amazing mom, especially on the days when you feel anything but.

Share this with another imperfect mom who's doing an amazing job.

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