|Now available on amazon!|
I went out to eat with my family last night and came home to a few messages on Facebook. One happened to read:
Hi, I just saw that your book is on amazon to download for kindle. I have two Nooks! Why does it show kindle ebook and not paperback yet?
Not thinking it would be available at all until the 18th, I quickly pulled up amazon to see if it was actually there (after I sat there with my mouth hanging open trying to halt my rapidly increasing heartbeat). To my surprise, there it was. My unpublished virginity had been taken—I was officially a published author!
With this being my debut novel, the feeling of seeing my baby, my first born, up in lights—on amazon—was overwhelming. The thought of someone reading my words and hopefully loving my story excited me more than any amount of money the book may bring. Something I had dreamed about for a long time had come to fruition and people were going to be able to read my book. Oh my gosh...people were going to be able to read my book. Read it, analyze it, smell it, swish the words around in their mouth deciding if it's palatable or not...judge it. Judge me.
I suddenly wished that I hadn't ate those barbecue-stuffed mushrooms covered in coleslaw because they were beckoning for release. My stomach churned with the worries and insecurities that I'm sure every other author has. Will readers love it? Will they hate it? Will they want to read book two? I didn't get much sleep, wondering who had already started reading it and curious as to whether or not they were glad they had. Worrying is something that that I have inherited, coming from a long line of worriers, and it's something I'm going to have to learn to harness and use in a positive way. I think I'll not only harness it, but name it & unleash it at will. (I'm also a planner.)
So, it's official...I can now say that I'm a published author. The process of getting here has, at times, humbled me to tears, caused me to cry tears of joy, and made me feel like I was going to puke. And I'm sure this journey into author-hood will continue to be one big roller-coaster ride that I hope you will join me on. I feel blessed that I've been given this opportunity and I just hope that I don't screw it up. ☺
I am going to go unleash the beast now, so I will finish with this...
One of the main characters in my book says not to 'live your life by what ifs', and he is right—if you do, you might miss out on what's next.